Ascending to Heaven

There is a student at Michigan State University. I'll withhold his name since I don't think it would be wise for his identity to be released. He lived on my floor last year and returned to the same building [but not the same floor] this year. We believe he is Autistic, but we cannot be sure. In any event, you must read this story. Now, listen:

We will call him Eddie. He is a true legend in Wilson, and all around campus. He is infamous for wearing sweatpants. He demonstrates the quality's of a Furby. Now, the story, according to a source who was with Eddie at a Bible Study meeting in Wilson Hall. So our source, my suitemate and Eddie are all in Bible Study and the topic of "The Hardest Thing You Have Ever Had To Do." comes up. Eddie starts out the discussion. "The hardest thing I've ever had to do... oh, well, let's see. Hmm, um. Oh, yeah, the hardest thing is Ascending to Heaven, yeah, ascending to heaven is the hardest thing I've done." Befuddlement hits the other students like a monsoon. Our source asks, "Do you mean that's the hardest thing you will have to do?" "No." says Eddie. [Now, can you imagine a kid who might be schizophrenic, who thinks that he has risen to heaven and returned to earth? A Jesus Complex?]

Then, Eddie demonstrates Ascending to Heaven: the martial arts technique [Karate, I believe]. He starts out sitting cross-legged and [after three failed attempts] rises to a standing position. All along he had no spiritual intentions. He was recalling the physical difficulty