I Should Have Explained

I realize that the last statement on my last post was confusing, to say the least. The words arranged themselves in that pattern inside of my head somewhere between the Red Cedar and IM West. They are the latest result of a recurring thought:

Everything around me, everything I experience is a fabrication, unreal. Is there an entire dimension of reality I cannot break into? My entire life is lived in abstractions on top of abstractions.

Some people see this as a comforting, even relaxing thought: I don't have to worry about my daily survival, existence is futile so why bother. [And I do understand where that comes from.] But, today I realized it might be that I am in a prison and these pseudo-conscious events are actually a way for this 'unknown' reality to protect society from me. In other words, when I feel the world inside my head crumbling and then associate it with extraordinary 'outside' events I am being tricked. But I don't know who or why? The question, "If I am in a prison do I want to know my crime?" stems from that problem.

Sorry for the confusion.