Cheating in Tony Hawk

I have started cheating in THPS 2 for my computer. I was almost done with the game before I started using codes I found online. I am surprised how much fun physically impossible combos can be. Perfect Balance plus Moon Gravity often get my score over 1 Million. I can play as Spider-Man, Private Carrera [attractive black woman], and Officer Dick [overweight police officer].

Helpful guide to writing your first novel.

The "Real Heroes, Bomb Tech" Action Figure is my favorite item on The Onion's Cheap Toy Round-Up.

Sounds rather interesting.

I'm rather disappointed with my employment at Manpower. I am not getting enough hours to justify the commitment of time I have put into the application and screening process.

The Velvet Underground has some amazing music on their album Peel and Slowly See. So much good music came out of the 1960s.

New Years Eve? Anybody? I didn't think so.

The Winter Break

has begun, and with it my new employment with Amway. Actually, I am working for Manpower [not a high-intensity male strip bar but a temp agency] and actually, it's the Pressure Packaging Plant at Access Business Group [not Amway]. I applied at Manpower the Friday after Thanksgiving and I couldn't have gotten employment sooner. If I don't screw up then I get to keep the job this summer.

I started reading Lullaby by Chuck Palahniuk. So far so good. Classic Chuck and his Crazy Creativity.

The "Oh-my-God This-is-a-great-idea-for-a-book" idea I had in early November which faded into obscurity with my exams and papers has resurfaced and revolved 180 degrees. Now I have a plot to wrap around this spongy core. I will be spending my free time writing. I am avoiding the Television as much as possible.

Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King is getting 100% on Rotten Tomatoes [currently at 32]. I am going to see it on Wednesday with Mulder and Stern.

Since I won't be adding new content regularly I suggest you [anonymous reader] check out the links to your right [if you haven't already]. They are the places I go to find interesting stories and creative writing. If you have a weblog or similar site that you read I would be happy to check it out and possibly link it here. Just leave me a comment by clicking on "comment."

After using my computer to watch Fight Club on Jon's TV I decided to change my background. I was surveying my options when I found a series of white backgrounds with obscure cartoons and pro-Mac slogans. I probably downloaded them back when I was very excited about OS X and all that jazz. Anyway, one had a cartoon of "Professor Pat Pending" that I was curious about, so I did some research.

The first site that turned up was this one outlining the different participants in Wacky Races, a 1968 Hannah Barbara cartoon loosely based off the film The Great Race. Here is a good drawing of Pat Pending's Ring-a-Ding Convert-a-Car.

I'm glad MLive has a whole section devoted to covering Granholm's Cool Cities initiative. They also have a section where you can vote on comics for the Grand Rapids Press.

"The river is where shopping carts go to die. It collects dead animals along its banks. It accumulates light bulbs, motors, couches and other effluence of affluence." Guess that river. If you said "What is the Los Angeles river" then congratulations. A journalist kayaks down it for the New York Times. [Login Required]

I recieved an e-mail from Tony, a sophmore at WMU, about a traffic fine he recieved recently. It is very intense given the subject matter but I think Tony has done a tremendous job voicing his opinion. Click Here to read it.

Firebird

Mozilla was acting up. So I tried to upgrade it. All my bookmarks vanished. So I got mad. But then I downloaded Firebird. Now I am happy.

The Final Weeks

The hours are counting down and my stress is building up. I can't help that this is the most worried I've ever been at the end of a term. Even last year this time I felt relatively confident. I can find no source for my troubles, no chasm which springs panic like steam from a geyser. This will likely be the last post for the week. Never before have I foreseen such a density of activity.

I found huntron's website. It is quite funny. I love unce. Unce could compete with Boof, but it should learn the lesson of Banff.

When looking for some stats on Boston's Big Dig and other cities that are attempting similar projects I stumbled on this great table of transportation costs in major American cities [although I would love to see it worldwide, how do people get around in Nairobi?]. Honolulu and Milwaukee were surprising; Detroit is very near the national averages. Even though it rambles a bit this listing of transportation issues in major cities might shed some light on that previous link.

That's all for now. If you want to contact me this week, good luck.

A quick update before Thanksgiving.

The second annual Turkey Bowl will be this Friday, time: TBA, location: Ada Park. Bring warm clothes and tell everyone.

I love when a "blockbuster" movie gets absolutely dumped on. Defective Yeti does a spectacular job summarizing the rancid reviews of Cat in the Hat.

Dale Peck reviews his day. "Had an egg salad sandwich for lunch. It was the worst egg salad sandwich of its generation."

Palestine Appoints New Minister of Rubble and Urban Development [The Onion]

Blinking twice and rubbing my eyes

just to get a grip on the situation. A female student in the Human Ecology Building [the one I work in] had a seizure. She fell on the floor and started bashing her jaw against the hard surface. Luckily a nearby student called the paramedics quickly. There was blood all over the place and [as I learned later] her teeth were mangled and broken by her spasm. The medics came quickly but she regained consciousness before they arrived. She is at Sparrow. She has never had a seizure before today. The medics did not know what had caused it.

On my walk back from the Human Ecology Building I saw a fender bender on West Circle in front of the Library. A truck tried to change lanes but there was a sedan in the way. No serious damage.

This morning I found a bunch of links. For instance, you can make your own Mr. Man or Little Miss.

If you have found yourself asking, "where is the closest official group of skinheads, black separatists or neo-confederates?" then this is the site for you. Be sure to check out South Carolina. [They might be disturbed if they read this, however.]

But, if you've been asking yourself, "where can I safely bring my cargo ship full of Bling Bling without getting it pirated by those nasty sea urchins?" then you have to check out the Weekly Piracy Report. I'm not making that up, it's for real. Check it out, I swear. Stop laughing. I SAID STOP!

Good.

Now, I wish this were organized by the band instead of the people who designed the album art but it's still cool. Album covers that were never used.

12 or 13?

Semester Review

I have finished the last of my readings for my English class. I have compiled a list with short reviews on Amazon. There are some real gems, and there are some real duds. Overall the selection was very good and I enjoyed reading most of these books. [The pidgin English in two of them can be tricky, however.]

I saw two movies in theatres this semester: The Matrix Revolutions and Kill Bill, vol. 1. Revolutions was what I hoped for and nothing more. I was expecting a spectacle of computer graphics that would somehow end up in the final showdown between Smith and Neo. Revolutions was superior to Reloaded; it didn't leave the viewer gazing at the screen for several minutes while a computer program ranted on some philosophical meaning built into the structure of the Matrix and Zion. At least Revolutions got to the part we all needed to see: a good old fashioned high-noon showdown.

Now Kill Bill is a different story. I loved it. It made me laugh out loud and squeeze my face up and grind my teeth all at the same time. QT makes horrifying limb chopping into a riot of parody and admiration. There are scenes where some of the most absolutely unexpected things happen. I want to see vol. 2 right now. I can't wait.

I'll also review some of the places I've eaten at this semester.

King Buffet: I went to KB for the third time this semester tonight. My boss took me since I helped her pack up some of the sale items at Sunday's Global Festival. The other two times were with Dr. Lim's class. I have grown to enjoy it. It is a Chinese/Japanese buffet with some classic American dishes. It is better than the Oriental Forest Buffet in Wyoming, MI.

Tony's: I ate here twice. Both times I had good food, but the service was inconsistent. I really enjoyed Tony's Steak Sandwich. Very tasty. The price is right, too.

"People are strange

when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down"
-The Doors, People are Strange

I've been listening to The Doors a lot lately. Morrison was a true wordsmith. I also have been listening to The Who more. Quadrophenia is an amazing album.

My stress level is starting to decline. Good news.

I've decided that I won't have time to finish that novel writing idea this month. I will restart it exam week and set my deadline for the last day of winter break. I think that will work.

I ordered 10 state [and one provincial] road maps today. They are free. It takes a little effort to find them but most states will give anybody a state highway map [and sometimes a lot more] for tourism purposes. Wisconsin, Alaska, Wyoming, Washington, Oregon, Massachusetts, Illinois, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Louisiana, and Ontario were all ordered. They should arrive in the next three weeks.

I think I'm going deer hunting this weekend. I hope those plans come together.

Can you believe this wind?

"Oh tell me where your freedom lies
The streets are fields that never die
Deliver me from reasons why
You'd rather cry
I'd rather fly"
-The Doors, The Crystal Ship

For whatever reason Mondays have been particularity good to me this semester. People bitch about how they don't get enough sleep before their Monday classes, how they're habitually unprepared for their Monday classes, how they have managed to forget something critical and blame it on Monday. Well I'm bucking the trend. I have found Mondays not only to be energetic and rewarding, I can also capture a lot of creativity on Mondays. Let's hope that this Monday is no different and that perhaps I can hold this energy throughout the week.

Now, beyond that: I found these ancestry maps of Minnesota and the US [by county] to be particularly interesting. Notice where the Dutch have settled. Interesting.

Tony, looks like one fewer modification you can add to the 'Lude. The traffic light switcher is about to become illegal.

I saw Matrix Revolutions. Better than the last one. Not comparable to the first one. Somebody should give the W. brothers a kick in the pants for being so serious. Come on guys, get over yourselves.

"There are two types of people in this crazy old world: staplers, and staple-removers." More insight over at Fireland.

All the world was put on auto-pilot and there I was, uninformed. I have major projects in all of my classes which I need to work on. Tomorrow I will go to the library all day. Oh, and I realized something else today. I made a decision [which I cannot reverse] that was a terrible decision. I have made some bad choices, but this one is worse than I could have imagined. But enough about my problems. I know they are boring.

I ate at Pita Pit with Nichols and Stephan [his friend from Ket]. It was good. It reminded Nichols of Schlotzky's Deli.

I want to write a novel this month but I don't know how I will fit in the time. You see, November is National Novel Writing Month. I have a pretty good idea but it needs a lot of help. I won't write about it here until it is more solid. All I will say is that it will be set in an airport.

A real planning success. [NYTimes, login required] A good way to see how planning has helped a community and prevented massive damage.

A South Bend Sojourn

Yesterday [Saturday] Mike Sims and I went to Notre Dame. Our original idea was to go camping [likely at PJ Hoffmaster State Park] but that wouldn't work out and would probably be miserable considering the weather. Why the sudden urge to take flight from MSU? We wanted to get away from Lansing for a bit and explore. Notre Dame has a campus worthy of the highest praise. Surprisingly it does not have a "college town" nearby. When on campus we went to the 14-story main Library that overlooks most of campus. From there we went to Subway for some lunch in their Student Center. After a few hours just wandering around we went into the heart of South Bend [a city plagued with planning nightmares as I learned this summer]. It didn't seem as bad as I expected. There is a very large 4-lane, one-way boulevard running the length of the city. There is also a man-made kayak course right downtown called East Race. It wasn't operating when we were there. Still a cool idea for a public park.

In other news I have two papers to finish/write by Monday/Wednesday respectively.

The Longest Day

Tonight I have the Symposium. I have been awake since 7:45 and will be busy until nearly 10:00 tonight. Luckily I have some free time here in the middle of the day. I had the strangest dream this morning.

Welcome to Cold Front University. It's a cold morning indeed here at our annual game against our in-state rival. The players have taken the field and they look pumped up and excited about this game. [Some time passes during the football game.] And they've done it! CFU has won! Now for the time-honored tradition you have all been waiting for, the launching of the Cold Front University Weatherballoon. Yes, I know that alumni, students and families around the world see the launching of the weatherballoon as a symbol of greatness. It nearly brings me to tears. And it's off. [Break to me sitting somewhere on the campus of Cold Front University next to a weasely looking kid.] "Hey, Astoria Pearson." he said. "That's not my name. If you do that one more time I'm going to beat the piss out of you! Understand punk!" I said.

I heard a great idea this morning: dream log. Where I write down my dreams. I just need a better technique for remembering them. The person who suggested the dream log also suggested not moving when I wake up to remember them better. I'll keep everybody updated.

Refueling

I know Gatorade probably has the copywrite for Refuel and all its various forms: Refueled, Refuel, Refuels, etc. I am. The ennui and malaise of a week have worn off. I am back. I am awake. My eyes open. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Sleep might have been the cure. I slept for an hour on Friday between 7:50 and 8:50 PM that was the clear-headed sleep of the dead. It's the sort of sleep you wake up from and ask, "where did that hour go?" like it never happened, like you fell faster than time and now you can see the breaking curve behind you. Oh, I love that kind of sleep.

The problem: I'm going to need all this energy for the week ahead. I swear all the professors wanted to clear out the week before the MSU-UM game so they won't have anything to do that weekend. And I can't blame them.

I just finished Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk. It was amazing. I don't feel like I captured the entire novel in the first reading. I want to go back through it. At the end I couldn't help comparing it to Fight Club [the movie] and how I was absolutely dumbfounded. Survivor isn't as much of a mind-bender as Fight Club. It is quality writing and has the most extraordinary set of circumstances I have ever read in any book. I loved it. Next on my voluntary reading list: Faust.

VH1 had a program on called the 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders. It was hosted by William Shatner.

A Dominant Disclaimer of Doom

I have been reading and writing for hours daily this last week. I have no mental energy to update Toponymy at this point. Once I get some of this off paper and on the computer then it will make more sense.

544 Abbott, the last house I mentioned on this website didn't go through. But, 532 Abbott, a house slightly closer to campus will go through. I swear. This time it's for real. Type 532 Abbott into the address field and the house should come up.

Sleep or caffeine? To be or not to be? What does Fertility Hollis do for a living? If you have answers then I need you. Grammar malfunction.

A Rickety Rollercoaster through the Ramblings of a Weekend

Tonight I recall an image that was dramatic in its simplicity. I was going sit-ups [a rare event] and I had my feet anchored by the TV stand that I made in Mr. Fletter's Survey of Industrial Arts [Shop] class. There was just enough room between the edge of the futon and the back of my head to make the scenario physically plausible. Then I realize it. At the top of the sit-up I see a TV, VCR, DVD player, microwave. At the bottom I see the futon, the comforter, the sheets. I can sleep or have the media put my mind to sleep.

Before that I was at the library. Normally, the first floor is the 'noisy' floor where large groups and chatty people go to study or just drink coffee. The second and third floors are for studying. I went to the third floor to finish off Blu's Hanging. I didn't notice at first but the table at the end of my row of desks was very loud. Not necessarily talking, but laughing, and trying to hold back the laugh by catching one's breath. Loud, obnoxious, squeaky. I gave them a grace period. I seemed to be coping with it, or perhaps they were just quieter. Then it got much worse. I get out of my seat and tell the three girls and one guy, "Excuse me, I can't get anything done." And after a split second of shock and realization that, "oh, we're in a library" they shut their mouths. I considered my other word-choices after I sat down again. Should have I said, "Shut the fuck up," or "If you want to talk then go to the first floor," or "You are being extraordinarily noisy." I think I made the right decision the first time since I really didn't insult them directly.

I found this early Sunday morning: Escher's Relativity in Lego. Here is the full collection of Lego Illusions.

Since I have been driving around more I have started to listen to Lansing/MSU radio more. I haven't found a station better than Impact 88.9 [The Student Radio Station]. It has a really great mix of music, no ads, and DJs who aren't attention whores. I found the station when I took my car out for a wash. I went down to Jolly road to find a do-it-yourself hose and soap wash. On the way there I scanned the radio for good music. The drive reminded me of Whitneyville road in the Fall. After hosing down the bird feces and berry-splatterings from the Paseo I decide to explore the East side of Lansing by way of Aurelius road. It was one of the strangest street designs I've ever seen. A bike path follows the street on both sides. For about a half mile or more, however, the road goes above the grade and the single lanes are separated by cement curbs on both sides, like a hot-wheels track. On my right is a double wide bike lane and on the left is a ~8" curb separating the lanes of traffic. I have no idea why such a radical street design was built.

Maybe these guys have the answer. Don't take the name seriously, there is actually a lot of sympathy for Lansing on this site.

A true test of toponymy on the internet [you will need FLASH to view this site correctly].

I am using a new method of posting to the blog. I need to see how well this works. Cellophane, Cardboard, Beautiful.

Okay, so after looking at that, I've decided it's easier just to use the default Blogger method.

Ascending to Heaven

There is a student at Michigan State University. I'll withhold his name since I don't think it would be wise for his identity to be released. He lived on my floor last year and returned to the same building [but not the same floor] this year. We believe he is Autistic, but we cannot be sure. In any event, you must read this story. Now, listen:

We will call him Eddie. He is a true legend in Wilson, and all around campus. He is infamous for wearing sweatpants. He demonstrates the quality's of a Furby. Now, the story, according to a source who was with Eddie at a Bible Study meeting in Wilson Hall. So our source, my suitemate and Eddie are all in Bible Study and the topic of "The Hardest Thing You Have Ever Had To Do." comes up. Eddie starts out the discussion. "The hardest thing I've ever had to do... oh, well, let's see. Hmm, um. Oh, yeah, the hardest thing is Ascending to Heaven, yeah, ascending to heaven is the hardest thing I've done." Befuddlement hits the other students like a monsoon. Our source asks, "Do you mean that's the hardest thing you will have to do?" "No." says Eddie. [Now, can you imagine a kid who might be schizophrenic, who thinks that he has risen to heaven and returned to earth? A Jesus Complex?]

Then, Eddie demonstrates Ascending to Heaven: the martial arts technique [Karate, I believe]. He starts out sitting cross-legged and [after three failed attempts] rises to a standing position. All along he had no spiritual intentions. He was recalling the physical difficulty

Sobakowe Pillow Fails

The infamous Sobakowe Pillow just failed. I woke up with a tremendous neck ache. Have you seen that ad with the cartoon blood-vessel knot in the guy's neck. Well, that's how I feel. Except I don't have a magical Icy-Hot patch to relieve my pain.

In other news, New York Do's and Don'ts.

An Anti-Climatic Forfeit Finale

The Cuties showed up for their make-or-break game tonight, on time, pumped, pissed and ready to bust some heads [nevermind that IM Football is one-hand-touch]. But our opponents stayed home, cowering in their tears, biting their quivering lips, cuddling up in their blankies and forgetting all about the dreaded Cuties. Actually, it's more likely that they lost or won all three of their previous games making this one moot. Oh well. It's not the game we wanted but it's the win we needed.

I'm no art student, nor am I knowledgeable about contemporary art. Maybe Erik Wayne Patterson can teach us something. There is a recurring comic-book pane theme in his paintings. Confusing, certainly. After browsing through his gallery you might feel like The Lost Dog.

I keep going back to this website.

The Campus Cuties

Tonight we play for our survival in the Independent IM Football league. A team needs three wins [out of its five games] to enter the playoff system. We are 1-2. I think we can pull it off. We have experience and talent. Our game is 10 PM @ Munn Field. The Dorm IM Football league is a different set of teams entirely. My floor has a 4-0 team who managed a 19-18 victory last night.

CUBS WIN!

CUBS WIN!

An Interesting Encounter at IHOP

Last night I made an unexpected trip to International House of Pancakes. There were three of us, all who live on 5 East Wilson. One wanted some pancakes. Thus IHOP. I just had coffee. On our way out we crossed paths with some local stardom: Chris Hill and Paul Davis. So we decide to talk with the cashier about their appearance. She was not terribly impressed. According to her several of the football players eat regularly at IHOP, one of them, who she described affectionately, orders four bowls of oatmeal, four hashbrowns, ten pancakes and eggs.

California recall election coverage: what's wrong in California.

Mulder, here is a rough outline of what a Big Ten Tour would look like. I left out Purdue and Michigan because they are basically between other points.

Oh Boy! Check this out. My lower jaw just dropped when I saw Lansing on the list. But sitting in a theatre for the 10+ hour marathon might be excessive. Might be.

Survivor and a Pair of New Merrells

I went to the mall today with Patrick. He got his ears pierced. He wanted to do his eyebrow but decided against it. I probably bought more than I should have. My beige Merrell shoes weren't good for winter and they were wearing thin. I got a new pair of Merrells: waterproof, fleece lined and more tread on the soles. I can return them for a full refund in thirty days if I don't like them. I also bought the book Survivor. No, it's not about the television show. It is by Chuck Palahniuk [pronounced Paula-Nick], the author of Fight Club [yes, that Fight Club].

Please watch the videos on this site. Simply amazing. [The whistles go WHOOOOO!]

Tony, I want you to build one of these. I know you could.

Who needs beautiful cartography when you have Hoom! Maps. Just follow the thick purple line to Mordor.

Twelve Ninety-Two is not an Address

Last night I went trick-or-treating. Instead of asking for "treats" I was asking for their houses. I was with six other guys and we were searching for 8-10 person houses or adjacent houses. We found an amazing home on Abbot rd., four blocks from campus. We can't sign a lease for another two weeks, but that's not a big deal. So, after we get the landlord's name and phone number and address we search for his office to get the location and hours [since they weren't listed on his voice-mail].

Four people [myself included] get into the Paseo. We had directions for 1292 East Lansing, an office loop north of campus. After driving around it several times and checking the addresses we decide to check the attached apartment complex. We found the apartment offices at 1290, an address so close. After an hour of searching for 1292 we get a phone call, 1292 is a P.O. Box. So we drive back.

On the house: the garage was turned into a bedroom, the main living area is very spacious and connects to a dining room/kitchen, there are several bedrooms, there is enough parking for everybody to bring a car, it is adjacent to a 10 person house that is a total dump and [across the street] an office building. Nearby there is another interesting house, it has a red, rounded door; a bathroom that contains a single toilet and nothing else; and a very very large attic space.

On a completely unrelated note: I am a huge sucker and Patrick is a Licensed Mapologist.

I want to see Lost in Translation. I am thinking Thursday night.

A Tempting Trial with Krispy Kreme

There is a Krispy Kreme in the East Lansing area. I have a Krispy Kreme paper hat on my desk. I think it's been here all weekend but I'm not sure. Must investigate. However, the nearest Family Video is in downtown Lansing, too far away for a casual trip to rent some movies. I did discover a Video-To-Go in Frandor. I will see if it can compete with the high quality video selection and prices of Family Video. I have my doubts.

I found an addictive game on the internet. Oh dear. If you value your time don't click here. Sure, it sounds easy... and it is, but then where did that our go?

I read All I asking for is my body in two days. It is for my English class and it's the best book so far. It is difficult to get into it because the author [Milton Murayama] writes in pidgin English. Besides that it is a very easy read, down to earth, real [in a way the last two books weren't]. All I asking for is my body is the first in a series of four books. The fourth hasn't been written yet. It's not mainstream; the publisher is Univ. of Hawaii Press.

I swear I have no idea. What in the hell are they smoking over at PerversionTracker?

Judge books by their covers. That's right, go ahead and do it. [I bet you do it already.] A graphic designer examines several new books by their covers and corresponding content. It's not the first time he's done this.

Word of the Week: Erudite

I decided to use a word mom suggested in her e-mail. Erudite has a cool sound and really makes you sound smart. It shouldn't be too difficult to insert into your daily conversation. An erudite person is basically a rude, snobbish scholar. From M-W.com, Erudite:

Pronunciation: 'er-&-"dIt, 'er-y&-
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English erudit, from Latin eruditus, from past participle of erudire to instruct, from e- + rudis rude, ignorant
Date: 15th century
: possessing or displaying erudition : LEARNED
- er·u·dite·ly adverb

For whatever reason I associate this word with Philistineine [not capitalized]. The Biblical connections are unavoidable. So, for bonus WotW points, philistine:

Pronunciation: 'fi-l&-"stEn; f&-'lis-t&n, -"tEn; 'fi-l&-st&n
Function: noun
Date: 14th century
1 : a native or inhabitant of ancient Philistia
2 often not capitalized a : a person who is guided by materialism and is usually disdainful of intellectual or artistic values b : one uninformed in a special area of knowledge

I'm going to be back in G-R this weekend. So, until Sunday or Monday, toodles!

A Synthetic Sea Suit Passing through the Haar

Haar is a cold sea fog on the East coast of Britain. I finished the paper for my English class. It is 25% of my grade and five pages long. Therefore each page is 5% of my total grade. I am always amazed by my powers of division. The paper is about The Moon and Sixpence. I wouldn't mind the book if something happened. Like action. Or an event, maybe even, I don't know... ANYTHING! The book is loosely based on the life of Gaugin, a French painter who used Japenese and Chinese elements in his paintings. Not terribly interesting. However, it looks really cool when you superimpose the history of colonialism in reverse overtop of his life. I know it's a stretch, but it's my stretch.

Why build the whole plane when you can get one amazing flight simulator. Did I mention this simulator comes with a 737 cockpit? [NYTimes, login required]

I'll probably be making more audio posts. I'll let you know.

audio post powered by audblog

A Website by Mulder

Everyone should check out Mulder's floor football website. Very impressive. Go Fireballs.

And, in case you needed help finding it, COMPAQ's help section is on the spot with the answer.

And the Lit-Up Windows Became Tetris Blocks

So I continued walking. I was wearing flip-flops and plowing through the darkness like a noisy lost little lamb. The rain made the benches wet, I didn't want to sit and get my pants wet. So I continued walking. A man was sitting, talking on his cell phone, his head hung low to keep the conversation private, concealed from the darkness. [That is to assume that another was on the phone too, possibly talking. Could that person be inside the cell phone, talking directly into his ear. Whispering sweet secrets from the internal speaker, gesturing with the circuits.] And he got up. And I was still walking. The conversation dim and unheard by passing ears. So he keeps his head low and turns his back. And in this instant I contemplate his motives. A long, expensive weekend. More expensive than I can imagine. And I walk by and think: what might happen, does the future exist.

And there in the darkness. Standing, bowing to whatever voice he hears. I: walking, thinking. Does he want my wallet. Can he kill me, him and his wet pants, stabbing, pummeling, fiercely punching and kicking.

But it didn't happen. He stood and I walked.

Then, a moment later, still in my flip-flops I see a rabbit. The rabbit sees me too. I stop and the rabbit stops. We look at each other. And then in the darkness I realize that if I were faster, quieter, stronger I could have the fuzzy one and he would be helpless. I'm not. But the rabbit doesn't realize it. I do. So I keep walking. And the rabbit remains, hopping back into the bushes and brush.

This kid was a mess.

He looked like he had finished (or possibly didn't finish) a court-ordered rehab program. He must have just gotten out of a bathtub, thrown on some clothes, and walked over here. A walking disaster. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair still wet and dripping down the back of the seat, his beat-up vest, his face unshaved.

He couldn't see it in a mirror, the scar that is. The scar on the back of his neck. Could it have been a knife fight, a stabbing, an accident? I glance over at his notebook. His writing is worse than mine. I can only make out the capitalized letters; the words run together; his 't's aren't crossed; whole lines are scribbled out. The bic pen he was using is in rough shape, too. Perhaps that pen, white on the outside -- filled with black ink on the inside -- that pen, a slave to a master it can't comprehend -- scrawling out words nobody can read -- that pen, chewed and mutilated and tormented is what holds him together.

So he puts the cap of that pen back into his mouth. He turns it around and mashes his teeth on it. He throws it to the back of his mouth, the big, leaf-eating teeth. He pulls it out and rests it on his notebook. The spit drips onto the page, blurring the already incoherent writing.

Battle of the Back-up Quartebacks

I just love that title. And, for the last minutes of the first half of the Lions/Vikings game, the dream became a reality. Gus Ferotte vs. Mike McMahon. Truly amazing. Harrington and Culpepper both went to the sidelines with injuries. Luckily, Harrington came back after the break. Currently: Vikings-23, Lions-13.

Look at this cool website. Wow. I didn't even know that we had a Manly Miles Building [even though I have biked past it before].

One of the best articles about Iraq and our perceptions I have read.

Recognize this? You might have seen it at the beginning of Boondock Saints. It is one of the towers on Boston's Longfellow bridge. The picture is taken from a boat in the Charles River. The towers are beautiful and really make the old bridge quite unique. Hunter, Brennan and I watched the fireworks from this bridge. The T [the subway-train system in Boston] runs across the bridge, too.

One G5 is powerful. 1100 G5s working together is... well... it's this.

I'm not a huge Radiohead fan. But these fifth-graders certianly aren't.

A Toothless Meandering Through the Sunderbans

You should see the view from my window. I admit it isn't as good as the view across the hall, but I still like it. First, there are trees, at least three very large trees. The trees are at their very tallest near my window [I am on the fifth floor]. This is a unique way to see a tree. Too often trees are characterized by their trunks or as people look up into them. From my window I get the geographer's perspective, top-down. I can erase the oblique and journey into the vertical. I also can see the cafeteria [it is connected to the two wings of my dorm building]. The windows of the cafeteria have a metal grate on the outside. On top of the octagonal cafeteria there is an octagonal service room. Behind the cafeteria is West Wilson.

People whine about Detroit's lack of championship games. But if you look at all the major league cities [in the past 20 years] then you really start to feel sorry for Seattle. I would guess that most of Detroit's 12 points come from the Red Wings and the Pistons. So you can continue bitching about the Lions and the Tigers.

Clam and Eggs. It's a recipe. I love the little picture in the corner. Mmmm, clams. [NY Times, login required]

Defective Yeti was the first blog [by a single author] I started reading regularly. I'm not sure why, but his narrative format was really accessible and I truly enjoyed reading his posts. Plus the graphic on the top is really amazing. Animal COPS is impossible to pass up. Enjoy.

The Morning News can be counted on for original and highly creative writing. I recommend reading Dear Hollywood. [Especially you, Nichols!] The author achieves a clarity of purpose that is particularly well done.

Attention Tony: cartoon cars [including a Honda S800]. Cool stuff.

Oh, and if you want to see the Sunderbans then just look here. The massive and ancient forest is mentioned in Rushdie's Midnight Children. From all accounts it is one of the most terrifying places on earth. On the other hand, it is quite stunning.

A Promiscuous Downloading Spree Against Patrick

In the last few days I have downloaded several entire Pink Floyd albums. Ummagumma, Atom Heart Mother and Relics were all downloaded. Awesome albums. And, since I bought Wish You Were Here and Dark Side of the Moon from the store, I don't feel like I'm completely cheating them. But, even if I never paid a cent I wouldn't feel any guilt. RIAA has to get with the times.

[Patrick does not like Pink Floyd. Patrick likes gangsta' rap. Patrick listens to Tupac. Perhaps it is coincidence that both of our favorite musicians are defunct/dead. Perhaps it isn't.]

Tony's [the brand-new restaurant next door to B-Dubs] was good. I want to try their biscuits and gravy. That sounds tasty. Do you know any other MSU bloggers? If so, please tell me. Thanks.

A Junket from the Farthest Reaches of the Geoid

I've decided that breakfast will be at Tony's in East Lansing. This is an actual restaurant. I've heard it is good and they serve breakfast. I don't know who Tony is.

I've got some great Toponymy links. Lets start with the World Trade Center. They are keeping the name [NYTimes, registration required] even though they are redeveloping the site. Interesting decision. I decided to look into the toponymy of the two cities I am researching for my UP classes. First there is Troy, it was named after [get this] Troy, NY. Then there is Boston; obviously a much older city. "On September 17, 1630, Winthrop decided to make Shawmut a permanent settlement and renamed it Boston, after his hometown in Lincolnshire England." Then why didn't he call it Lincolnshire? Then there is an article from MLUI [Michigan Land Use Institute] regarding the hypocrisy of "property rights." The author is a bit too negative. After all, land-use would be a non-issue if people didn't have different ideas for its development. But, he does have a point about cities reimbursing land-owners for "diminished value."

How do you sleep. Yep, you guessed it, another "personality test." Can I fail a personality test? Can the full range of humanity be parceled into a dozen distinct sets of traits? [Just in case you were curious, I'm a foetus sleeper and occasionally a log.]

Don't forget, tomorrow is Talk Like A Pirate Day.

I now have a comments system. It's free so the features are limited. Click on the comments link below each entry to add or view comments.

A Tower of Artificial Light

Tonight has been strange. After work all I accomplished was my paper for UP 400. Yes, it was only one page. Yes, it was about the Big Dig. The past six hours have dragged out. I am increasingly frustrated with my job at the Library. It is terribly boring. One student employee confessed that she still [after 7 months] has no idea what is going on. It is such a contrast to my other job. At Human Ecology I get to meet new people, relax occasional, talk with people about design and the happenings in the department. So, I decided if, by the end of the week I cannot stand the Library job then I will try to do freelance writing. Why? Well, writing is where I feel confident. I will not be belittled by bureaucracy any more. [A Man Is Not A Piece of Fruit! #5]

So, if you know anyone who will pay for writing, please drop me a line.

I know it's nerdy but this tour of the Fabulous Ruins of Detroit link came from my planning professor. Take the tour, it's worth your time. [Trust me, I know how much your time is worth.] It doesn't matter if you are clueless or not, you must read about cluelessness.

A small FHC reunion is coming together for October 3. Should be a great time.

A kid on my hall retold the story of a prank call. He and a friend called Jenny Craig [or some such weight-loss company] and began their sad, sad story. It starts with the tragic death of the caller's best friend to obesity. As a response to the unexpected death the caller begins to eat and eat. So now she has a weight problem. Then the caller breaks down and cries. She wants help. She wants to lose weight. Well, turns out these guys were convincing; the receptionist starts to cry, she sobs her eyes out. After hearing it I start to laugh.

Mandatory Firecracker Guard-Duty

Well, here it is. The video of Stackenblochen [MPEG, 9.5 MB]. Simply amazing.

I watched The Day The Earth Stood Still last night on AMC. I had never watched AMC for an extended period of time. It is actually a good movie. And a Beatles album cover. Although, the Christ analogy is a bit heavy; although there is some wiggle room in the metaphor and the movie doesn't have that awkward 'savior from beyond' feel.

Even though I study the Orient, I have no idea what this is. Kikkoman has a fierce ad budget.

Finally, "It contains about 13,000 words printed in one-point type." That's right, a one-point font dictionary that's 110 years old.

Word of the Week: Pinkerton

I had a hard time thinking of the word for this week. Mulder said he had a great one but couldn't find it. I considered misogyny, but decided against it. [Misogyny was the topic for the day in my english class.] Pinkerton has a great sound. It flows with the definition [the implied negative meanings come right through in the pronunciation]. Here is the M-W definition:

Function: biographical name
Allan 1819-1884 American (Scottish-born) detective; established first private detective agency in U.S.

Have fun.

Stackenblocken, Football, and Rain

The Campus Cuties [our IM football team] lost tonight. We lost by two touchdowns. The rain started coming down hard after halftime. Luckily, there was no lightning. Interestingly enough, the other team [the Dolphin Floggers] had a fast little Asian guy on their team with the words "Asian Sensation" on his shirt. Like Porn's doppelganger.

Speaking of long German words... On the 10th Anniversary of Late Night with Conan O'Brien they showed a segment called Stackenblocken; a German game show where contestants must arrange things at 90 degree angles. The woman contestant appeared to have won, then Conan checks one item with a ruler. It's not correct. He slaps the woman in the face. Then he, and another German soldier start beating her. Then a German Shepard attacks her. And the theme song, oh, the theme song. Mulder and I were bent over laughing.

If I knew Polish then I might know why the small man seems so content. Here is the whole collection of Polish propaganda posters [wow].

This, is interesting.

I Should Have Explained

I realize that the last statement on my last post was confusing, to say the least. The words arranged themselves in that pattern inside of my head somewhere between the Red Cedar and IM West. They are the latest result of a recurring thought:

Everything around me, everything I experience is a fabrication, unreal. Is there an entire dimension of reality I cannot break into? My entire life is lived in abstractions on top of abstractions.

Some people see this as a comforting, even relaxing thought: I don't have to worry about my daily survival, existence is futile so why bother. [And I do understand where that comes from.] But, today I realized it might be that I am in a prison and these pseudo-conscious events are actually a way for this 'unknown' reality to protect society from me. In other words, when I feel the world inside my head crumbling and then associate it with extraordinary 'outside' events I am being tricked. But I don't know who or why? The question, "If I am in a prison do I want to know my crime?" stems from that problem.

Sorry for the confusion.

A Non-Incident in the Library

Several minutes ago I was reading Maugham in the Library. Charles Strickland is a character in The Moon and Sixpence who is very sadistic. I won't bore you with the details. [Note to Nichols: Of Human Bondage was also by Maugham, I might have to read it after the semester is over.] Anyway, I had the sudden urge to leap from my seat and explode on my surroundings. I wanted to throw down the desks and the shelves. I wanted to blast out the window, to use the furniture like a hurricane uses a tribal village on the fringe of civilization.

I wanted to see how long I could last. How long until security, staff, police, concerned citizens tried to tame my fury. Who would approach the crazy man. Who would risk his own life to save a bound edition of Toxicology reports, a rack of magazines from 1972, a shelf of books about satellite imaging applications. How far could I go.

But, ultimately I decided not to. When does my reality [the current one, the college student] end? What is the breakdown, or, rather: does real life achieve the clean transition from one stage to another?

If I am in a prison do I want to know my crime?

The Big Dig

I've decided to research Boston's Big Dig for my UP 400 class project. UP 400 is titled Conflict Resolution and Negotiation. Dr. Lim is the professor. I had never heard of The Big Dig before I went to Boston with Huntron. Here is the summary provided by Boston.com:

Who: United States Department of Transportation, Federal Highway Administration & The Massachusetts Turnpike Authority.
What: The largest civil works project in U.S. history
Where: Boston: 8 miles of Interstate highway construction, approximately 4 miles of I-93 between Roxbury and Somerville, and approximately 4 miles of I-90 between Chinatown and East Boston
When: Federal legislation passed 1987, ground broken in Boston 1991, completion 2005
Why: To reconnect the city and to alleviate traffic bottlenecks
How much: $14,700,000,000

Imagine the S-Curve prjoect in GR times 100. [The cost of the S-Curve straightening was $145 Million.] It is actually three projects combined. First, the Bunker Hill bridge was built. Second, the Ted Williams tunnel was built to connect Logan Airport. Third, the land was dug out below large section of highway in central Boston, then an underground freeway was installed, then the above freeway will be destroyed. The area for the third part is turning into a park [rollover the image with your mouse].

In Iraq American soldiers appear to have gunned down 10 Iraqi police with no provocation. We will never be able to build trust [and then build a nation] with a 'shoot first and ask questions later' policy. Needless to say, Iraqi citizens are furious.

Boston

Pictures are in. I uploaded Huntron's and my own pictures from the Boston trip. Click above on 'Pictures,' the top three lines are new. But, my data-transfer limit was reached earlier. Check back tomorrow.

A Terrible Way to Start the Day

9:20 AM, my eyes are just barely opening. I decide to check the news online. And then I see this [NYTimes, login required]. Cash became an iconic figure on our floor, mostly due to Sims' hayseed roots. I realize he was old.

I almost forgot yesterday was 9/11, again. It will be the last pitiful display of patriotism these eight Iraqi police and two US soldiers will endure [NYTimes, login required].

Well, there you have it.

*Note: I highly recommend registering at NYTimes.com. It is free and easy and their website is probably the best online-newspaper combo I've come across. [Of course, you can always check out these three online-papers, too.]

That's Not Exactly Sanitary

I biked to King Buffet (a Chinese/Japanese buffet across from Farmer Jack's on Grand River). Dr. Lim, my professor for UP 400, paid for everyone to eat there. When I went up for a second plate of food I got some Wanton soup. I held the bowl under the sneeze guard and used the ladel to pour the soup. Some of the soup spilt over the bowl and all over my fingers. Then I realized that others may have done the same. An uncountable number of dead skin flakes could be floating in my Wanton soup. That's not exactly sanitary.

Then again, neither is VD. While blogspotting when I should have been eating lunch I found this collection of posters printed by the Federal Government's Social Hygiene Department. After eating at King Buffet I returned to Wilson. Christian (a sophomore who lived on 5EWil last year, too) saw this on my screen and immediately wanted it in his room. "Oh! I have to have that!" He said. So, Mulder printed one off and Christian is planning a trip to Kinkos for enlargement and lamination. Even though VD is a real knee-slapper, my favorite is definitely this 8"x10" of propaganda. Can you say Catch-22?

Onto toponymy. Pop, Soda, Coke, or what-have-you. What do you say when you order a carbonated beverage? Don't tell me, tell him. [Be sure to rollover the links below the map to see each distribution separately.] However, I much prefer this map. Michigan is firmly in the Pop camp [with some soft spots at Mackinaw City].

Tony [aka Little Helmholdt] you must see this. A Durango 95, the car from A Clockwork Orange, completely restored. It is so low, the rice-burners wet their pants. Be sure to check how it was restored and its original condition.

Okay, I know the website is all in German, that doesn't make the pictures less interesting. Just click where you see blue, closed down industrial buildings and run-down factories.

Finally, a good article about the emerging blog.

The Seattle Super Sonics

An Amazing Alliteration for a NBA team. Drobnjak manjak has a website on the Sonic's official page. Be sure to have your speakers turned up when you click here. Yugoslavians are coming up in the world of professional basketball, Lorbek comes to mind. But Lorbek never said, "Tonight your uniform will be wet with the tears of sadness." The 'kids' section is quite hillarious, too.

In order to understand location we must understand location. (Yes, that is what I meant to say.) Location, in a terrestrial and human-scale sense is defined by other locations. Grand Rapids is 60 miles west of Lansing. Due to the changing position of the earth and unfelt universal changes, there is no absolute way to locate something using abstract variables. Thus, we create maps to relate locations. But how do we project a sphereoid onto a flat surface? Decide for yourself. [Note: this link came from my GEO 221 class.]

Scrabblog. Make the best word given 7 random letters.

New favorite quote from Playmakers, "Thinking kills. It's the worst thing you can do." That's why the show has writers instead of middle linebackers.

And, if you are still bored (or illiterate) then check out some of the latest works.

A Lofty Nomination for the Reclamation of Putumayo

BBSpot (listed amongst my links on the right hand of your screen) has been quiet these last few months (or perhaps I have just not been looking at it as closely). But their latest article is beautiful and articulate. In the classic vein of giving Microsoft programs human traits, BBSpot has deemed professional psychological treatment necessary. A prescription for Upgradium (as seen on page 147 of Unreal 2003 Gamer's Weekly) is the usual treatment for this suite of programs.

Pirates: a favorite topic. All summer I looked at a newspaper cutout taped onto the wall of my then-bedroom. The cutout had a large color picture of some modern pirates and a headline regarding the present-day scallywags. Although technological advancement prevents large scale piracy, pirates have not lost their edge, style, appeal or capacity for crime. A quote from The Atlantic Online:

"They choose their targets patiently, and then assemble, strike, and dissipate. They have been known to carry heavy weapons, including shoulder-launched missiles, but they are not determined aggressors, and will back off from stiff resistance, regroup, and find another way...." [Read More]

*Interruption of normal weblog service* I get an instant message from Schepers telling me urgently that I must try out IP-Relay. He describes it but my understanding was still muddy. I got a call. An operator tells me how to use this free and anonymous service. We had a short and sporadic conversation. Although I have little use for this program I can definitely see its application for the deaf.

Books are like protein shakes for the mind. So, you should have some sort of schedule for maintenance to keep your brain in shape. At least that's the subject of The Great Books Workout by Laura Miller [NYTimes, login required]. I think it's a bunch of garbage. Only those driven to read for understanding of themselves and their surroundings will see their goals written in each page. Sure, finding the right authors and books might be tricky, but seriously, it's not that tricky. Reading Plato just to check off a box on a reading list is as banal as drinking Diet Caffeine Free Mountain Dew because it's "good" for you. In any case, I am considering buying a Kerouac poster to replace the Animal House one. Still haven't decided. Here is the quote on the bottom of that poster:

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..."
On The Road, 1957

Word of the Week: Ramshackle

I came across the word when doing some reading for UP 353 about sustainable development. Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to use the word 'ramshackle' at least three times in a casual conversation.

The official Merrian Webster Definition for Ramshackle:

1 : appearing ready to collapse : RICKETY
2 : carelessly or loosely constructed

Good Luck.

Requests

Some of the readers of Helmers83 requested photoshop contests regularly and possibly a word of the week feature. I am open to both suggestions. Of course, the photoshop contest (or, Helmers Picture Pirate Contest as I like to call it) would have to happen on the old website. I cannot host or display any pictures on this website (yet). I also have no feedback application. Any suggestions for this website (or whatever) should be directed to my Yahoo email account (helmers83@yahoo.com).

I am currently reading The Moon and Sixpense. So far so good. Nothing amazing, yet. The transition of Strickland from a bland stockbroker to a psuedo-maniac is a bit hard to swallow and Maugham elaborates more than I would like. (Plus, I have no idea how this is going to tie into Orientalism.)

By the way, did you know there is a Mr. Bean Cartoon? I just found out while I was writing this post. It's not nearly as good as the live action Mr. Bean. It is hard to replicate the quirky anti-social behavior of Rowan Atkinson. The animation is good, however.

Gritting Saw Teeth and Swiffy Grey Matter

The Futile Pursuit of Happiness, [NYTimes, login required] is an excellent article about a recent study about how people believe they will feel after positive or negative situations and the actual results. For instance, although you might think that your whole week will be ruined if your favorite college football team is beaten by University of Huston. This is likely wrong (unless you are Lloyd Carr). Conversely, if you buy a new computer gadget it won't improve your happiness for very long. If these sorts of studies pan out and become more proven they might have public policy rammifications, especially for the medical institutions.

Although, I'm pretty sure that one of these would make my day. [Quicktime Movie of Wooden Mirror -- High Bandwidth Only] Amazing combination of digital and analog.

Have you ever seen an Aggregate Traffic Animal? Well, according to this guy you probably have but didn't know it. In fact, you probably have been part of an Aggregate Traffic Animal. Although the article is a confusing read, the author raises some proto-reality questions that are simply mind-boggling. Scroll down to Typical Morphologies for more about how Aggregate Traffic Animals exist and what they look like. In a related topic, I have been listening to a lot of Modest Mouse. Cochrane recommended the band to me and I downloaded a few songs. Third Planet, Out of Gas, and Tiny Cities Made of Ashes are all enjoyable. The lyrics to Third Planet share some subject fodder with the Aggregate Traffic Animal.

A 3rd had just been made and we were swimming in the
water, didn't know then was it a son was it a daughter
When it occurred to me that the animals are swimming
around in the water in the oceans in our bodies and
another had been found another ocean on the planet
given that our blood is just like the Atlantic
And how
The universe is shaped exactly like the earth if you go
straight long enough you'll end up where you were

This also has some Toponymy repercussions. But I want to watch football.

Why Change?

Why have I abandoned Helmers83? What will become of that website? What is Blogger? These questions are important.

Helmers83 was good. The election 2028 special report was amazing. Several other articles were spectacular. But, maintenance on that website was awful. I wrote all the source code myself, I wrote the entire CSS script, I handmade all the archive pages. Nothing was php, java, perl, flash, etc. Everything was in HTML and CSS. I learned how Blogger (see below) works. I learned that I was doing a lot more work than I needed to.

Helmers83 will be dramatically changed. The only new content added to it will be pictures and other large files. All of the articles will be archived. Helmers83 will last only until I find another place to host the archived files and pictures.

Blogger is a free way to make a personal weblog. A weblog is an online journal. This is so close to what I had with Helmers83 that it was pointless to work harder for the same output.

Good, we've got that out of the way.

334 Evergreen

This house is practically on campus. It is licensed for 12 people, has 4 bathrooms, 2 kitchens, a basement, and an alley for parking. This is where we first saw it. We still haven't seen the inside. We should be able to close the deal this week. I will keep everybody informed. The house will need a name. What kind of name is 334 Evergreen, a street and a number. I don't know the history behind Evergreen but I might guess that it is a generic street built or named in the last 100 years, possibly during the City Beautiful period. 334 screams anonymity. 334 is an abstraction in a layer cake.

Thus, the house (considering that we do lease it) will need a name. Toponymy, in it's nascent (although somewhat Hindu) form. We would not be the first nor the last to live there, thus not the first to name it. But our name will live on beyond our stay in the house. The non-existant verbalism will outlive the walls and doors.

Initial Post

Please disregard this initial post. It is meaningless. It is meaningful. (According to Strunk and White's The Elements of Style, meaningfull and meaningless are interghangable.)